love and other indoor sports

They say you live, love and learn. But what happens when through all the living, you have learned to not love? What then do you do? Do you stop loving? Stop learning? Stop living? They also say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. When it comes to love, what doesn't kill you, doesn't make you stronger, it makes that wall around your heart stronger. And thicker. And tougher.

All my life I have been an avid promoter of living, learning, and risking, because I believed that what didn't kill me, would make me stronger. I also believed that experience is the best teacher; there's no better way to learn than by doing. Of course, these thoughts are applicable to ideas of internships and education, but in the realm of love, my tactics have failed me.

While I still stand my ground and state that experience is the best teacher and the only way to learn how to stand is to fall, I must issue a bold warning with those beliefs. Because every time you fall along the path of learning, you develop a bruise. Although these lessons are painful, they are a necessary part of life. You can't understand the joy of acceptance unless you've felt the pain of rejection. You don't appreciate completion unless you've been incomplete. And you can't experience wholeness, if you've never been broken. Likewise, what is the significance of love, if you've never been unloved?

If every fall created a scar, how many times would we be able to fall, before we are battled and bruised beyond recognition? And how many times can we fall before we learn to stop trying? How many times can my heart be broken, and how many pieces can I give away, before there is nothing left? If every experience produced a lesson, and every lesson a scar, then it wouldn't be long before we are beaten, black and blue. And then what? Then we wait. We wait for the bruises to fade and the scars to fade. And when the evidences of our past begin to disappear, we start all over. We try new experiences, learn new lessons and create new scars. We begin the vicious cycle over and over again, because they have not yet killed us; they've only made us stronger.

So in the end, you'll learn to not only stand, but also walk, run and jump, but beware, this is not without falling, tripping and tumbling first. You'll be battled and beaten, covered by bruises and scars, but because of them, you can say you've truly lived. And so it goes. And remember, scar tissue is tougher than skin. And thicker. And stronger.