new york state of mind

I <3 NY.
I need to admit something. I want to be Carrie Bradshaw. I mean, what woman doesn't? she has a fabulous apartment, three amazing friends, a closet full of outrageous, if not stylish, clothes and shoes. not to mention the constant flow of pursuing men and exciting drama. she spends her days eating and walking with friends, shopping, and occassionally "working" aka. writing in her apartment while barely dressed. her evenings/weekends are filled with fun adventures like attending book signings, club openings, and dining out with a variety of characters. she's never seemed to worry about how she's going to pay the month's rent, or her new pairs of manolos. and despite all the broken hearts and tears, she's still confident, gorgeous, and funny. she has a magnetic personality that makes you want to sit down, have a cosmo, and share all the stupid drama that's going on. yes, i dream of living a fictional life.

sometimes i think it's unhealthy for me to watch shows like sex and the city and read books like everyone worth knowing and the devil wears prada. they give me a glimpse into a life i will never live and a lifestyle i will never have. let's face it, i'm never going to go to the hot new clubs, or get cozy with celebrities. i'll never have my picture on the side of a bus or page six. i'm destined to a normal, everyday, wallflower, doomed for mediocrity. at least it's comforting to know i'm not alone. an overwhelming majority of the world is in the same boat as me. we can't all be famous, can we? maybe one day i'll accept this truth. but until then, i will walk like i own the sidewalk and pretend that people know me. i'll dress like i have somewhere to go and maybe, just maybe, i'll one day be as confident, kind, and pretty as sarah jessica parker.